July 05, 2011

a very soon post

a very soon post. yes, im writing this RIGHT AFTER knowing my scores in this 4th term. im writing with such an indescribable feeling #gayak hahaahha

hmm. im pretty happy with the scores, but theyre no making me proud. but after all, im happy, and i thank God for this term and all that i've got through this complicated process.

the scores, some of them are less than my expectation but some of them, more than my expectation. to be honest, i didnt really push myself to the limit in the 4th term. i kept saying to myself to pass the limit, but the brain just dont want to. either the brain, or my other self.

wait. the last part sounds like i have multiple personalities -______-

at least, this term and the result wake me up. like really really wake me up. my target when i graduate is that my GPA will be like the first term. and i still have 3 terms (amen), 3 chances to reach that goal.

and by fulfilling that, i can be a whole person (lebay) hahahaha

my motivator once told me that you have to conquer yourself. not the situation.
next term, I HAVE TO CONQUER MYSELF. cross my heart :3

and my dad once said that if i want, then i can. this term proves me that if i want, then i can. just fyi, the first two or first three terms, i used to study at my friends house. but back in the highschool time, i can study on my own. this term, i studied on my own. and this terms result shows me, what happened if i didnt push myself. if i push myself real hard, guess i can beat them. mhuahuahuahuahuahuahuaha

last but not least, when i was still in the marching brass, my coach, is a firm man. not to mention fierce, but he is fierce. hahahaha.
anyway, i remember clearly that it was the time when we had this annual training centre, which held when we're about to have the competition. it was raining hard, thunders everywhere, dark outside, cold, and we were effingly tired.

my coach, he was very very angry at us. he was furious, he blew a gasket at us. just use anykind of idiom that you can think to express, marah banget semarah marahnya marah. he was yelling, and telling us that we wouldnt win the competition if we played like that, and so on. the weather outside just perfect to express his anger at us.

he felt that us, PSUMB, didnt have the determination to win. he endured that we had this tiny doubt about winning the competition, about ourself, our capability, which seen in the way we played the music, danced, and made the display.

his sentence that encouraged me was : .......................okay i dont know how to write it in english hahahaha but in bahasa, he said :
"kalian BISA. ah gimana kalo gabisa kak? kalian PASTI BISA. aduh kayaknya gakbisa deh kak. KALIAN HARUS BISA"
he was like monologuing to himself. it wasnt a good sentence like a quote. but his sentence was like echoing in my mind. and it really pushed us so that we became the WINNER of that ome gran prix marching brass. im not talking the second place. but the FIRST place.

that was one of the happiest moment in my life.

this is a long post. well, see you later mates!
just be happy for whatever grades/scores that you have now, and make it a trigger for you to be better, to do harder. and dont forget to thank God. i believe that whatever happens now, on your scores, is in His control and He has reasons why He does this. this is for your own good. trust me.

its okay to not have straight As. only by that, you know that you havent done your best, that you still have lots and lots to work on. it makes you realize that you can do better than what youve done. you can be better than you are now.


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